All of a Sudden…
You keep taking your phone off of silent and worry about its battery levels…
You make sure your phone has enough call minutes and your car has plenty of gas…
And you get used to weird numbers and people from left and right calling you for news…
You assume the role of a spokesperson, and you provide a carefully worded statement that instils hope but ends with the very customary yet very needed request for prayers…
All of a Sudden…
The definition of a miracle gets watered down, and you set the bar to as low as possible…
At mid-day, you consider that you’ve been given half a miracle and at 6PM three quarters, and you plead with God for Him to keep it like this…
All of a Sudden…
Medical terms become your lingua franca, and your online searches are indistinguishable of that of a medical student or a doctor…
You go through myriads of articles and papers, and you selectively cling to what you want to read and ignore the rest…
All of a Sudden…
You know who is close and who isn’t…
Who cares and who doesn’t…
Who loves and who is indifferent…
All of a Sudden…
Your body surprises you with its ability to go hours without food or drink…
The solution that you’ve been looking for to lose weight fast or lose appetite has made its way to you, although you wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, even to your worst enemies…
You can’t remember the last time you showered or washed your face, and you couldn’t care less about either.
All of a Sudden…
You preform every task that is demanded of you with utter focus, but your mind seems to lose that focus the moment you’re no longer in a position where you are required to act…
You dread it when your thoughts are given the space to either think of the past or worry about your future…
And the mundane and ordinary days you crave but can no longer remember…
All of a Sudden…
You wonder how long will this last…
And till when will you put your life on hold…
Till when will you be all alone and by yourself…
You wonder whether the worst would happen but try not to lose hope…
And you ask yourself if you’re doing your best or would you regret any of the thousand decisions that were forced on you…
All of a Sudden…
It’s the waiting game…
But you’re not good at it.
No one is.