There’s something that is difficult not to notice when it comes to the pain of your loss, my affectionate brother…
I don’t know whether this is sheer delusion or from the fact that I still don’t fully comprehend your loss…
But the pain of your departure is unlike any I’ve ever experienced…
There’s a sense of sweetness intermingled with the desperation that apparently you’re not there any more…

I hate to spiritualise things,
and the following lines might sound blasphemous but,
How lucky am I to have you within arms reach…
To be able to call upon you and know for certain that I’m being heard…
To finally recognise you for your worth and give you some of the attention you deserve…

My flawless brother,
It would have been weird then to frame your picture and to create a corner for you that hops with me in different places around the world…
But now I can and I do and I will…
Now I have a newly found hobby of sitting down and lighting your candle…
Of talking to you and letting the tears trickle…
I wish I did it more when you were around in your previous form…
But now I can and I do and I will…

Don’t let this affectionate pain leave me…
This sense of urgency and this innate desire to bore you to death with discourse…
The tendency to call your name at various times during every hour and to remind you that I love you and I miss you and that I don’t want to let go…