Dear Loneliness,
Would you mind sitting down for a minute so that we have a talk?
Yes, there, in your preferred chair in the round table of emotions that have the greatest say in my life.
I think we should make peace together and be friends, no?
After all, there’s no point in pretending that you’re only temporary and that one day you’ll go away.
Sometimes, you do go away, and you take melancholy with you as well…
For fleeting moments I have to say,
but you’re always back…
And Gosh, how much I hate you when you’re back…
For you come in with a tantrum, you make a mess of the pile of emotions and thoughts that I neatly organised during your absence, and not only that, but you also bring specimens of the culprit; the person who momentarily helped me evict you from my heart.
You come in with a multi-pocketed jacket,
with scents, feelings, items, and thoughts,
with memories of people who made me forget about you.
I can imagine you telling me, ‘You thought I’d left you, no?’ while showing me your merchandise,
And once you team with nostalgia, I’m done for.
For you two have the power to make me bed-ridden for days on end.
Take your seat, my dear Loneliness, and let’s strike a deal…
I know you’ve always lingered in the background…
Even when I thought you were gone, you just weren’t in my line of sight…
And something tells me that even if the person that I hope would make you vanish comes, that your lingering would never stop.
You can team up with nostalgia as much as you want, but please, don’t talk to desperation.
For I’d rather remain lonely than to go left and right searching for illegitimate fixes, using people instead of loving them.
Bring specimens of people as much as you want, but leave regret out of it…
Open your jacket and show me the smells and memories and butterfly feelings, but let courage co-chair such a presentation…
Let it tell me that I tried, that I put myself out there, and that I heeded its call…
In turn, I promise to respect your right to live within me…
Heck, I would even look towards your direction and greet you in the morning sometimes…
And once and if someone comes and chooses to stay, I would let you meet their Loneliness as well…
We would talk about you two around coffee, maybe alcohol if you don’t heed the advice of not teaming up with desperation…
We wouldn’t be drawing plans to weed you out of our hearts,
but we would try to be adults and listen to what you’re trying to tell us.
For it is not love if I don’t fall in love with their Loneliness,
And by the same token, I’m not fully loved, until you too, my dear Loneliness, receive your share of their love.